This last weekend Gunner was out of town. Karch and I went to run a couple errands…dropping poinsettias off at my mom’s house, going to the mall for a gift, and going to Costco. As we were walking into Costco, he turned to me and said, “Mom, I don’t know how you do things like this every day.” It made me smile. As I recognized him maturing. And recognized him recognizing what I do every day to make my family run. What we do mamas and daddys every. single. day. to. make. our. families. run.
I’ve seen a post on facebook a couple times and it totally points to real life (see below). It reminds me of these few stops with Karch running errands. Of his recognition of it.
I think sometimes we get an image in our minds and in it love looks grand…in it, love is an enormous, sweeping gesture of some sort.
In my forty-six years of learning how to love, and be loved, what I’ve found is that true love isn’t grand, sweeping gestures. It’s often the tiniest of things we do every day to keep our families running.
And how it looks changes as our families change.
It looks like rocking them a little longer as your own sleep is sacrificed. Cuddling with your spouse when you’d much rather roll over and close your eyes. It’s the laundry washed. The dinner cooked. The kiss good morning. The note in the lunch box. It looks like going on the field trip. Signing them up for the class/sport they want to be a part of. Standing on the sidelines to support them, even if they don’t play. It’s helping to pick up the pieces when they make a mess. Or a mistake. Or both at the same time. It’s giving them a consequence when they need it. It’s the phone call to your significant other, because it’s the only way to find quality time with them in a day. It’s the kiss on the forehead. The coffee date between the kids getting on the bus and you getting to work. It’s getting up early to do devotions. It’s the prayers you say over them all day long. It’s the puke you clean up. The toilet you scrub. The lawn you mow. The groceries you buy. The tradition you carry on. It’s the text you send. The hug you give. The side job you take on. The drive you make.
People don’t always say: I love you. Sometimes it sounds like one of these small acts.
Tonight I pick Gunner up from his weekend in California touring Biola College. We both know that Biola is a financial reach for him, even with the decent sized scholarship they offered for his academics. But I still wanted him to go. I wanted him to dream. And trust that if it’s where he is meant to be, that God would take care of the details.
Sometimes love is helping them dream.
The other day I got home from doing five miles. Karch met me at the door and asked, “Do you want to walk the dog?” I thought…not really. But knew in my heart that it was a few precious moments with my teenage son. And replied, “Sure.” And when instead of our usual short route, he chose a longer one, I walked and listened. And loved.
Sometimes love is taking advantage of the moments given.
Yesterday I was struggling with something. And a friend came into my classroom for lunch. She sat with me. Listened. And prayed with me.
Sometimes love is just choosing to be there. When you don’t have to be.
And at Costco when Karch said, “Mom, I don’t know how you do things like this every day.” What I really heard him saying was, “Thank you.” Thank you for doing all the little things I don’t recognize that you do every day. Thank you for loving me. I. don’t. know. how. you. do. it. every. day.
Tired mamas and daddys, husbands and wives, friends…with Christmas just around the corner. I see you loving. I see the crying infant in your grocery cart. The teenager figuring out who they are and talking back. The spouse who has had a difficult day. The friend experiencing loss. The dinner you put on the table. The clean clothes in their dresser. The day you spent at work.
I see you loving them. In sweet, simple, tedious ways.
And I don’t know how you do it every day.
I. don’t. know. how. you. do. it. every. day.
Because some days it is really hard.
really. really. hard
In my forty-six years of learning to love, what I know to be true is that the people who love well don’t always say: I love you. But they show it.
Let me just end by saying what Karch said to me, “I don’t know how you do things like this every day.”
i. don’t. know. how. you. do. things. like. this. every. day.
But I recognize that you do sweet friends.
And I hope today what you hear is what I heard Karch say…
“Thank you.” Thank you for doing all the little things the people you love don’t recognize that you do every day. Thank you for loving them. I. don’t. know. how. you. do. it. every. day.
And I just wanted to tell you… that your love is beautiful~
gretchandboys 